The Internet

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By Miranda Boyer

Click to download an audio version here!

I got sunscreen in my eyes this morning and while that should have little bearing on my productivity, I’ve been tearing up in front of the computer for a good hour. Letting my eyes clean themselves (instead of using nasty eye drops that burn like hell) and basically catching up on some of my internet videos. Surprise, surprise, there’s a new season of the Try Guys hitting the interwebs over the past few weeks and I do love me some Try Guys. One of their newest videos is titled: 75 Things That Will Restore Your Faith In The Internet.

I think I’ve talked in the past about how I live in a bubble. It’s an unintentional bubble but it’s a bubble none the less. I can remember being like a sophomore or junior in high school when my family got internet for the first time. When it was finally my turn to use the computer, I waited through the buzzing and beeping and generally loud noises that were dial-up. I clapped my hands together thrilled at what was before me. The Internet!!!…. Only I didn’t know what to do. I stared at the MSN log in for a solid five minutes. Checked my email, which no one had, so I should haven’t been surprised to see it empty. I clicked on the search bar but wasn’t sure what to search. Eventually (about five min after that) I gave up and logged out, grabbed my car keys and went to my friend’s house. I simply didn’t understand what all the fuss was about.

Fast forward to today and I often feel the same. By today’s standards, I still feel like that kid, sitting in front of the MSN log in screen, not really sure what to look at. I spend equal amounts of time researching something as I do on my Goodreads page or blogging about my life to you good people. It’s not that I don’t know how to use the internet but I still find myself missing the joke. Especially at work.

I’m a substitute teacher and sometimes a longterm teacher. My kids at school are always doing the weirdest shit. So let me bring the conversation back around to the Try Guys. After watching their 75 interweb list I feel informed. I don’t often watch things like Vines or for that matter look at Facebook past my social media commitments for work and writing or seeing what a few close friends are up to. So memes aren’t really my forte. It’s hard to miss some of them but honestly, I’d rather spend my time doing other things most days instead of mindlessly interwebbing.

But dude. Now I understand where the weird dance came from that’s all the rage. I get why the kids always poke fun at my crocks. Don’t laugh. Yea you. Stop it. They are comfy. I don’t care. Oh and so many other things. It cracks me up. If you feel like a good laugh or like me, you’re lost to some of the internet larks, enjoy the following twenty minutes.

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